Well played Mr. Teeter, well played indeed.
The New Tweeter. Aka The Biggest Harris Teeter Ever!
Yes, I went... Under the "know thy enemy" battle strategy, I felt it best to be informed.
At first glance, I'll admit that I was initially taken by the newness and the niceness and was started worrying about how I'd report this on the blog. The produce section is lovely. The salad bar is beautiful. There's three "hot foods" tables for the lunch crowd. And yummy-looking hot pizza by the slice. Wow.
But I pushed on and found the old Tweeter Fury creeping in...
Why?
1) Where is the bulk garlic? Near the onions? No. Potatoes? No. Oh, the only bulk garlic you have in stock today is organic? Of course.
2) Where are the chips? Right, right - by the wine. Of course. How silly of me. I often enjoy a nice glass of white wine with my Ruffles.
3) Where is the Velveeta*? This one stumped 2 sales associates but was finally solved by a 3rd who actually walked me to the processed cheese-food area (located on an end-cap in the freezer section in case you were curious). *Note: it's none of your business why I was buying Velveeta. Our battle strategies are on a need-to-know only basis and I'd certainly have to kill you if you read it here.
4) What's the deal with the overall floor plan? You have to go through wine to get to meat. Greeting cards are past the freezer section. Starbucks is tucked away next to the restrooms in an almost-hidden back corner. And the peanut butter and jelly is STILL in the bread aisle which is, of all places, next to the deli and prepared foods section. To be quite honest, I found myself turned-around a half dozen times and slightly panicked that I'd never find my way out during my visit.
And, a visit it was for most folks, as there was even more of a "social hour" feel about this store as every person over the age of 70 shopping there (and at noon on a Thursday, it's prime Senior shopping time) was accompanied by a kind friend or family member who was helping them navigate the new Tweeter not to even mention all groups of working "Lookey-Loos" who were there just to check it out over the lunch hour. "It just opened yesterday at 8 am!"
Finally, well over an hour later, I left full of the self-righteous Tweeter Rage I had fully expected. I was willing to admit that it was a beautiful store and that it was kind of them to include the Kosher foods in a regular grocery aisle unlike the "old" store where the Kosher section was "conveniently" located just beyond the checkout lines. However, beauty and a re-think of anti-Semitic business practices alone were not going to sway me.
As I rarely pay too much attention to the prices at The Tweeter anymore as I already know they're too high, I took an odd and casual glance at my receipt and found myself shocked. The Tweeter gave me DOUBLE COUPON credit on every coupon I used valued under $1. As a member of the die-hard coupon faithful, I had to admit I'd lost to The Tweeter this time**.
Well played Mr. Teeter, well played indeed.
**Further research is now required to find out if every day is double-coupon day or if this was simply a "new store" promotion or perhaps a tactic Mr. Teeter targeted at me, and me alone.
posted by hh at 12:56 PM
2 Comments:
I am commenting - finally!
First, I am now only partially recovered from the laughter that ensued as I read the Mr. Tweeter blog...partially because of your whitty style but more importantly because I share your pain. The source of my grocery angst however is the almighty Stop N Shop. Which by the way does not open until 7am - despite my grocery store amnesia and my now 5 attempts to go before 7am. Apparently New York has not discovered the concept of 24 hour grocery stores as they did in California.
As a native Californian I am rather partial to my tortilla's...it is rare to open my fridge and not find a package. Back in Cali (the land of good and plenty) there would be an endcap solely devoted to about 20 different varieties of this mana from heaven. And it was not unusual to happen upon them on some days still a little warm.
Zip on over to New York...and the Scarsdale StopNShop. I made my way around the store picking up items as I went along...searching all the while for tortillas. I looked on the endcaps in vain. I looked in the dairy section - no go, looked in the deli section, looked in the bread section. Now, for other Californias you are probably asking..now why did she look in those odd places..a simple answer will suffice. I have gone to Tortilla hell! I asked the deli person and he said to look at the rack in front of his counter (that was after I had to explain what a tortilla was...first sign that this was not going to go well). I asked another clerk, she suggested I go to the Mexican food section (you know, the one where the precooked, cardboardesque tortillas sit alongside "Tacos in a Box" products. Clearly she didn't know what a tortilla was. The next person sent me to the information desk who sent me to the bread section (now I did find one package of spinach wraps there but still not the tortilla I was looking for). I asked one more person, she was stumped and her suggestion was a no go as well. But I had mentioned that in one store I had found them in the refridgerator section.
Dejected I got in line to check out when someone tapped me on the shoulder...this nice clerk had gone to the refridgerator section and found the tortillas...she was not happy with our failure to that point in finding them. I jumped with glee and vowed to have my eyes checked cause I must have walked by that case four times looking for them.
Ah...tortillas...what aren't they good with!?
7:57 PM
Around Jon's place there is a horrible Rainbow foods. It is always packed, not with senior citizens, but families of at least 10. And of course they have two carts full of stuff. Then you finally get around the store and gather your items only to find there are a total of two checkouts open. Each with long lines and incompetent cashiers.
9:04 PM
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