Thursday's Top Ten

Posted by Becci

Top Ten highlights of the week thus far (keep in mind, it is only Thursday).
1. Heather started her job and Ernie turned into a puppy of the devil.
2. We made fancy stuffed peppers for dinner one night and Ernie proceeded to go crazy.
3. Tonight, we bathed Ernie, and once again, he went crazy. I think he's possessed. Heather is experiencing lower back pain as a result of his antics and has expressed significant concern about the limitations on Advil consumption and the inverse relationship of that to the 30 additional pounds Ernie is projected to gain while growing.
4. I visited Heather at her new job (without Ernie) and found her beneath her desk. Apparently, she gets her chair after her six month probation period has expired.
5. I considered using similar motivation tactics in my office, but found the people there already had chairs and weren't all that interested in being motivated.
6. Ernie, who does not have a chair, but stays in the kennel all day, thought hard about how a chair might taste. Or how it might be used as a weapon. We're keeping him on probation indefinitely. (We are also holding a reservation at the M&S Hazelwood Ranch for Bad Puppies in the event he fails to meet his parole officer one more time).
7. Heather got invited to join her office Holiday Party Planning Team (HPPT--related to, but not to be confused with the PT Cruiser/Loser). They moved the meeting to accommodate her schedule, but did tell her in advance that the theme colors for decorating will be burgundy and gold. I want to know if it is actually a prom and if I can be her date. Ernie wants to know how long we'll be out so he can determine how much terror to cause (Pre, Post and during the event).
8. I braved the Harris Teeter alone while Heather and Ernie went for a shuffle, (in broad terms, a walk). Ernie and I exchanged roles; he was a good walker and I nearly bit the leg of a woman in the frozen section of the Tweeter. I sorta understood how that could feel good.
9. Marlene is coming to visit tomorrow. We started cleaning, but Ernie made it clear that he didn't approve. For once, we listened. Sorry Marlene...you'll come to love slobber yet! Don't worry, the sheets and towels are really clean. The rest...well, that is another story.
10. Ernie has fallen asleep and it is not even 9:00. I can hope he's dreaming about sleeping in late tomorrow morning and letting us do the same. Truth is though, he's been farting and even in his slumber, is making it clear that he's not done with us yet. We can hardly wait for tomorrow!